Have you considered making an adoption plan for your unplanned pregnancy? Adoption is a hard but loving choice if you are not ready to parent your child on your own. If you’re like many women your first reaction to adoption is probably, “no way!” Don’t close the door quite yet – let’s dive into the reasons why you may be hesitant about adoption and take a second look.
It would make me feel too sad.
Carrying a baby for nine months is no easy task, and lots of bonding is involved. Adoption can be truly heart-breaking in many ways, but it can also bring about an abundance of hope. Hope can be knowing your child has a future that you can feel good about your entire life. Mothers who place their children for adoption have a right to be proud of themselves and the power they took over their ability to make the adoptive parent’s dreams come true. While sadness is a real issue, it will lessen over time, and confidence that your baby is being well cared for brings healing.
I should take responsibility over my own actions.
Accepting consequences for your actions is admirable. But, placing a baby in a loving adoptive home is not avoiding responsibility. Evaluating how your child will be impacted by your choices is smart; things like finances, education, stability in relationships, and successful parenting with the baby’s father are all factors. Choosing a family that will be able to give your child the ideal upbringing you want for her is totally caring and responsible.
I have no guarantee that my baby will be happy.
Life does not come with guarantees for anyone, but God does have a special plan just for your baby. You can choose from hundreds of potential parents for your child. Prospective parents will tell you all about themselves and they will describe what adopting your child would mean to them. You can meet each other and agree on whatever adoption terms you want. You decide. What feels, in some ways, like a problem pregnancy to you will feel like the greatest gift in the world to them.
I would rather have an abortion.
Do you think you will be “done” with this situation if you choose abortion? The effects of abortion, both physical and emotional, will be long lasting. You cannot pretend a baby never existed; you still have to accept that you were pregnant and will still have to deal with separation from the child you conceived and will still experience loss. Abortion may seem like a quick and logical solution, but the outcome for you will not be that easy. And as for the baby, he will have to go through the pain of losing his life just so you can try and avoid some pain in your own.
I want someone to love me.
Everyone wants to be loved. Of course it is tempting to see a baby as someone who could fulfill that genuine need in you. But, parenting is about sacrifice, focusing on the child’s needs and giving freely without expectation of receiving anything back. Yes, children often love in return. Yet, their role in life is not to make their mothers feel special. Your child cannot be born with a job to do. Your child will love you and show you their love as they grow, but it won’t fill the love you don’t have from others in your life. Your child will love you through the adoption. Throughout their whole life, they will know that you sacrificed for them to have the life they do. There is no greater love than sacrificial love.
Ready to take a second look at adoption?
At A Better Choice, we have walked with birth mothers and adoptive families through the process of adoption. We can share stories of all the lives that we have seen changed for the better by a gift of adoption. A local attorney will come meet with you free of charge and with absolutely no pressure – just to answer your questions about the process. There is hope for you and your baby, and maybe even a family who will be blessed by you both. Call (316) 685-5757 or walk in today at 3007 E. Central Ave to learn more about this loving option you have.